Man, has it been a while. I woke up this morning after ushering in the New Year last night, and as I lay in bed, my mind drifted to thoughts about restarting, renewal, resetting the clock, all the cliques that typically start with the beginning of the year (and also that I needed a few Advils after celebrating into the wee hours last night). Its funny, because for roughly the last 5 months of last year, I had good intentions about updating my blog here, giving an update, saying something profound, all that jazz.
What I realized though is that ultimately in the last half of 2012, I really didn't have a lot to say to the world. I tend to get into routines in my life, whether its the routine of going to work, playing hockey, reading comics, watching favorite TV shows, movies, playing video games - basically things that are safe, easy to do, and most of all, enjoyable (maybe work is stretching that, but even the act of going to work can be something I take pleasure in). However, the things that are harder, such as the act of creation, working on a project, excercising, seeking new relationships, growing in spiritual matters - all these things take work, and an emotional, mental, and physical investment that sometimes I just am not willing to give on a day by day basis.
I think when I'm traveling the safe road, I'm focusing more on myself. I'm staying tightly within my core group of friends, and I'm fostering an introverted state of being, because I'm just doing whats easy and makes me feel good. But I think naturally when I'm taking the path that is harder but ultimately more fulfilling, I'm opening myself up to the world and being less selfish and more giving, my mind and body are firing on a whole different level, and therefore I will naturally will have a lot more to say, which I think practically will be shown here on the site. If I'm posting a lot, whether its pictures, words, music, video, or whatever, I think you'll know I'm not in the rut that can be the routine of life.
This year, I'm not going to put out any stupid New Year's resolutions. Last year, I publicly made several, some of which were to publish my comics feature every week, and more importantly, have a working rough cut of the documentary that I've been embroiled in for the last several years . Ultimately, I didn't follow through with either. I probably did the comics feature consistently for 3 or 4 months, and although some progress was made on the documentary, we didn't get anywhere near where we wanted to be by the end of the year. So this year, I'm not going to bother with any of that. I would rather just focus on being a better person. I'm old enough now that I know the choices I make hour by hour every day affect who I will be in that time, and I think ultimately if I just focus on making the right decisions that affect who I am daily, then I will be able to be in the position to fulfill everything that deep down I want to accomplish.
That was just a long rambling way of me saying, I guess I just want to be better this year.
Lets see how that goes in 2013.